I enjoy watching people. The things they do when they think no one is watching, sometimes just listening to a conversation to try to understand how they think. Sometimes doing this makes you realize that not everyone is who we think they are.
I wanna share some thoughts i heard from my weekend.
“It’s not rape if we have sex and she is drunk, clearly she wanted it.”
I looked at this individual in shock and perhaps what can be classified as disgust, he continued to explain saying sometimes when people are drinking, there are sexual hints in the air. I understand flirting, it happens, more so when drinking occurs because of liquid courage but there should be a limit to when you act on it. One of the guys i was with told him that that is exactly how rapists think, that made me happy. At least someone near me was aware of the implications of such thoughts.
“My parents would never allow me to show up with a bunch of friends after clubbing.”
Maybe this needs a backstory. We went out clubbing and the following morning when we were suppose to go home, a Russian friend invited us back home to continue… “celebrating”. We got there and we found the dad was leaving on his way to work, it was very awkward. The mum was home and as we sat in the kitchen drinking and talking she would come in occasionally to smoke and chit chat a bit. Let me tell you something, No African Parent Would Tolerate This. I know I would not even consider this, if I did I would have gotten an asswhopping at the door! But people are different. We live in societies with different standards of acceptance towards certain things.
“Why are you with a black guy when all these white guys are available?”
So a weekend here is never complete with a few racist remarks. A russian woman we are acquainted with is dating a black man who happens to be my friend. Some Russian men felt a certain way about this because they
were single and bitter. It is sad that some people still live in a box that revolves around skin colour. Observation has shown that they(Russians) go easier on Russian men dating black women because it is seen as more of an accomplishment but if a woman does it she is being a *insert sexual slur*. There is a lot of work to be done considering racism and double standards dating wise. *sigh*
“If you are not in a relationship then you are not happy.”
This one legit made me chuckle, apparently one simply can not be happy and single. I hear all kinds of things when people ask me why I am single. There should be an underlying reason that they can help me solve and usually the solution involves me dating them. I do not owe anyone a reason nor do I want to date for the sake of dating. My singleness is currently my form of self love.
“Stop kissing girls and come spend a night with me, You’ll never wanna kiss a girl after.”
Sadly in 2015 there are still people who are homophobic even when they think they are cool with it. Some men still think their penis can ‘cure’ homosexuality. Some will laugh and ask if you are up for a threesome that is the only time it is acceptable in their eyes. Please respect me and my sexuality. Stop trying to fix me.
I would continue but i might end up sharing something I ought not to. I learnt what I could this weekend, there is a lot to be done. I need to associate myself with better beings, I also need to teach those around me what I know, even though sometimes people prove to be stubborn and fixed to the way they view the world there will always be a way.
I hope your weekend went well, If there is anything that might have happened during yours, feel free to leave a comment and let me know about it. Enjoy your week and pick up a book or two.