My First Rejection… Sorta

(//_\\) i met him in senior high.

uumm.. well, i don’t know if it was rejection cause i never said anything and neither did he… but i knew we both felt something and sometimes he’d ask me if we changed the way we acted around each other a bit, would it change how things were. i said no. i was kinda waiting for him to give me some green light type thing. maybe that was it but i didnt see it.

then one day he just said he thinks it was best if we stopped talking.

“This is me declining any future invites to your pity parties as you should mine,I’ve learned what you taught me knowingly and unknowingly and though i had barely scratched the surface i have no emotion left to invest in you,however know that so long as it doesn’t conflict my own i’ll have your well being in the remotest of my thoughts.”

it was painful. it felt like my heart was trapped between my ribs while trying to escape. still beating but numb. it took me a bit over a year and a half to fall for him in between conversations and all, another few months to accept it, then BOOM. he’s gone. he’s really good at disappearing acts. he can shut you out , you start to feel like you don’t exist just because he doesnt acknowledge you. i think the whole thing was made worse just because at that time;

i was trying to reach out to my real dad, and the response was similar.

just silence.

eehh.. it took me a while to get over the us not talking. i still love him dearly but God brings people in our lives for a reason. and his season has passed. i’m glad i had that phase. i’ve learn’t that loving myself isnt such a bad idea. 

Once i can do that, i can share it with the world. i can love again and never stop loving.

 

 

freedom is when you stop needing. i stopped needing to fill that void a while back and it feels so good.

i’d advice you do the same. 

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no person should ever make you feel unworthy of life and all it has to offer you.

 

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2 responses to “My First Rejection… Sorta

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