Overthinking

Would it change things if I started asking questions about tomorrow?

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Sometimes, I just want to know that you and I are on the same page. I know we are working on the same book together but sometimes it feels like you are taking the lead and other times I am leading.

 Do we get lost during all this?

 Or is it how we find ourselves?

 

Ice cream in the desert. It ends to quick. Not sure if it’s because I enjoyed it or cause it melted. It was, now it isn’t. that is all there is to it. 

                 The Knowing. 

                  The sureness of it. 

            The liquidity and flexibility of feelings that are sometimes translucent, not much of a tan but my sun burnt skin adapts to the burning sensation every time friction is applied.  Sticky fingers from playing with glue and hearts caressing sensitive skin. If that ice cream was commitment, would it last a bit longer…

 just so I could savor the taste?

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I believe in a lot of things and sometimes nothing at all. at times, the future seems bleak and all I want to do is crawl into a cave somewhere up high and wait for my flesh to disintegrate. Remember that night when you watched me shiver my nightmares into reality. I could have sworn I was falling from that cave. There was a rope tied to my soul and it yanked me back. 

When I opened my eyes I met yours, wide, awake with worry. Within seconds it hit me, my physical quakes must have woken you. Another chapter of unexplained things we nod our way out of. Sometimes I just want you to hold me. most times, you know exactly when to do that.

 

What is that I can give you that you don’t already have? 

What is it that you wish to experience of me?

 Is it in this realm?

 Are we toying with surface emotions?

 tossing coins into a wishing well?

 In another life, am I free to say that you and I are an us?

          A we?

 A something that is palpable, with a label and handle to carry like a newborn baby. Do you understand where I am going with is?

Or is it just one of those deep conversations we have whenever we light a blunt to inhale and exhale moments we have lived and could live(in other worlds). 

 

Would it change things if I started asking questions about tomorrow? About the day after the end.

The end of what you ask?

 

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