Dear life, you often kept me informed of the things happening around me. Even though I wouldn’t understand you told and showed me anyway. I came to loathe that ‘you’ll understand one day’ phrase, along with the ‘when you are older you will look back and remember this day’.
I’ve been doing that a lot of late, looking back. A lot of things have fallen into place and I don’t feel as lost but you show me more things and I still have to wait for tomorrow to understand. It’s kinda like a see-saw, give and take? Maybe? a journey? Stops have to be made along the way to see how far we have come and think about what is left of it.
I guess you taught me that it’s good to have those moments. Those intimate moments we spend with ourselves figuring out the next move. Looking back at how that last move played out. You taught me answers can be found in silence. We don’t always have to say something to be heard, we don’t have to listen when we already know the truth. You often said our guts rarely lead us astray. We just need to feel it, even when there is no movement at all.
You taught me that people come and go. Things we’d want to hold on to for a life time leave us before we can even say goodbye like baby pictures that fade with age, those first pair of shoes, a smile, a friend or a loved one. you showed me that often water can be thicker than blood. Just because we share the same genes, we don’t share the same dreams. People will smile and hold your hand when you are on the same level but begin to pull you down when you start to progress.
You taught me that we can find love in places where we don’t frequent. Unexpected , sudden, slow, and yet too fast. In conversation about songs and stars. In a tub of ice cream that finishes too fast or a cup of coffee that takes forever to cool, so we are left gazing into eyes that go on for miles with feelings left unspoken. We find love when we find ourselves. The little pieces we pick up as we go. That distance can’t be erase and stain that wont fade.
I’m learning more about you each day..sometimes, you get cold and lonely.. other times you are warm and bubbly.. I enjoy my time with you. I know, this too will pass away.