my lover is a smoker

You love me Like I’m your last box of cigarettes Crushed and slightly broken But still fixable.

You love me like I’m that last puff. Taking me in like I’m your last breath Baby don’t exhale.

But you do…lips looking like they are still touching Smoke escaping, something like carbon monoxide on a stage. It frames your being and fades in the background Hides your pain for a while But leaves you naked.


Your Gaze is lost somewhere Fixed on a brick in the wall Lost in thought, too busy to notice You lost a tear.  I see your eyes looking like Leaves after the fog has passed. You’re wet, teary.. Bright from the lights reflection off the back of your retina… I wonder if you think of me then. When you come face to face with yourself standing under blue skies Is my name written in your sky?

Do you love me then.. Or just need me there ?


You once told me, I know how to kiss your blues away…


You’d keep my head on your shoulder so I wouldn’t look at your face, so I wouldn’t see your Male Ego taking a break but I felt them.  Hot, on my neck. You would Kiss their trail then you’d bite me like snake would its prey In those moments I imagine you sinking your feelings into me. Taking me deep into you.

All the pain you hold in leaving you. I imagine us sharing the weight. I hate seeing you feeling burdened. So when your hands race the length of my spine and land by my tail, I don’t mind.

Your hands were meant for my behind, big enough to hold and gently mold as you pushed me closer to you.


There was something about the way you kissed me then. When I held you together, trying to keep you from breaking. You often slowed down the phase. Kept your eyes closed like that would erase he evidence of tears but it never did. I kissed your eye lids. You hands were steady on my waist, trembling. I wonder if you thought I would leave after I saw you come clean. If it would make you less of a man in my eyes. You’d pause and take a deep breath.


When you finally opened your eyes. Tear drops nestled on lashes like butterflies on leaves. I had never seen anything more beautiful.  Then you reached for your pockets. Pulled out a box of cigarettes and picked one. I flicked the lighter for you. Watched the tip turn red and you inhale.


I see you now, standing there , lost, deep in thought.


breath Baby don’t exhale



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