Crystallize

Woke to windows fogged from the contrast of warm air in my room and the cold air that blew outside. Negative six degrees today, there will be snow, I see gusts of white wind play hide and seek over building tops and tall trees, leafless branches swaying back and forth in praise to an unseen God.

Woke up with emotions mixing in my heart trying to find the right combination, Stuck between I miss home and I’m glad I am here,  seventeen flight hours away in a foreign cold land., With no shoulders to cry on or a voice to say it’s okay to feel out of place.

Woke up with ambition blurring my vision, I feel asleep thinking of a dream, it must have attached itself to my DNA cause I’ve never felt so alive, with each blink everything got clearer and I felt stronger. I felt stronger. Finding me within myself, holding hands with myself grateful for this chance to not feel like broken glass… to not feel like there were a thousand me’s and none of them were me. See, I couldn’t identify who I saw in the mirror because I was never whole. Never complete enough to be something meaningful and never empty enough to be nothing,

Woke up with a deep sigh cascading over me it felt like waves that lead to a tide. I felt high, not because my room was on the third floor and the view showed roof tops covered with traces of snow that looked like cocaine. The steam from the tall building looked like smoke exhaled from lips that kissed dried leaves rolled up in crisp sheets. I felt that natural high.

I like how the snow falls gently, how the layers keep piling into pure white cotton. I like how the sun looks today…

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